- Russia is the United States’ rebellious teenaged son. Yes, The White House is very very disappointed in you Russia. How could you?
- Russia and the United States are two bickering parents going through a rough divorce process, starting with the huge fight about Syria. Edward Snowden, their son is thrown into the middle of a fierce custody battle. Where Russia finally gets full custody and the United States can no longer get visitation rights, they’re fully on their way to proving Russia wrong for their next custody hearing in one year from now.
- The United States is like that one kid in middle school who flung all those paper-clipped hidden rolls of paper at everyone with rubber bands. If you’ve ever been hit by one, you know it hurts like hell.
- David Cameron is like the creepy uncle I never had.