Please stop talking about cake

I’ve written a column on asexuality for my university’s paper. I know I’ve written about this subject on this personal blog, but this particular article is much more polished and less ranty.


Why it sucks to be asexual – on the fly thoughts

A note about this post: I am angry. When I am angry, I don’t care. I will write my thoughts as they come to mind.

When people complain about inclusion, it’s always about trans and bisexual people. I stare at the asexual flag on my ceiling and weep.

It’s bad enough that Dan Savage has equated us to the Jews in Nazi Germany, proposing that we tell sexual people that we’re asexual at the beginning of a relationship so they don’t get the wrong idea.

Stay away from sexual people he says.

Yeah, I’ll stay away from sexual people. Not because of you Dan Savage. Just because I’m sick of all sexual people’s crap.

I am a minority of the minority. I am rarely recognized in pride events and clubs. When I am formally recognized, half the members are still incredibly skeptical about asexuality. I refuse to let that be in my supposed safe place.

It’s always LGBT. LGBTQ*. And whenever I see the A, I see it referenced as Ally. ALLY SHOULD NOT BE IN THE ACRONYM.

I appreciate what they do. Hell, I WROTE AN ARTICLE ABOUT ALLY TRAINING ON MY CAMPUS, but I am not going to give up MY place in a community discussing the minority sexual orientations. But then again, with all the wank and hate going on in that community as well, I find myself asking, “do I even want to associate with these people?”

And honestly? I don’t. The hate you see from white republicans towards LGBTQ people? It’s about the same WITHIN that community. I don’t need that.

There’s places like AVEN as well. I tried to get into that community, but some people there wanted to streamline the definition. Some people treat virgins as demigods. That’s like saying, experimenting is bad. WHY IS TRYING TO DISCOVER YOURSELF A BAD THING!?

Oh wow, some asexuals can still feel pleasure? By their own hand too? Their own hand is the only way? Wait, they feel pleasure while being a good-hearted person and having sex with their partner because they love them? Holy God! I wasn’t aware things weren’t black and white!?

I see these things happening and it makes me want to isolate myself farther and farther from everyone I meet. I’ve gone my whole life not caring one bit about sex or relationships. I want people to understand that some people think that a penis inside a vagina, or a penis inside an ass hole is gross and there’s NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.


One last note before I say more things that will make people hate me:

It hurts as an asexual person, that I could not include the A in the acronym in my LGTB stories I wrote for the paper. That was a really disappointing moment when I opened the paper up and just saw the standard acronym. There are asexual people in the Pride group on my school’s campus. I couldn’t include them.

I have pride in being asexual. I love knowing that I’m different and that I can still function normally without sex. What I hate about it is the fact sexual people turn it into something ridiculous. Or in Dan Savage’s case, something like AIDs. That’s not who asexual people are. We are awesome dynamic people.

And you know what, fuck you and your fucking. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that kind of bullshit.